in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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