so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
