I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
