i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize