We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize