im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
