I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
