okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
