If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
