I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
