I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
NoShamevember. You game?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
