I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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