It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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