I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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