hotel room ftw
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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