Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize