hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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