I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
