yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize