Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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