Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
