so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
