The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My balls are so social today.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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