yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
