Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
