Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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