Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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