The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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