You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
