Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
