pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
