dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
