Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
