Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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