spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
