Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
