No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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