the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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