How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
