I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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