She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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