Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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