its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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