The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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