I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
