We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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