i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
