I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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