somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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