It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
