Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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