Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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