i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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