In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
