i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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