I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
