k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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