Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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