My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
